Wednesday 18 May 2016
Tuesday 17 May 2016
Sunday 8 May 2016
aaj mere kutte na aanda diya ..
बाबूराव: आज मेरे कुत्ते ने अंडा दिया।
राजू: ये कुत्ता कब से अंडा देने लगा?
बाबूराव: ये बाबूराव का स्टाइल है,
अपनी मुर्गी का नाम कुत्ता रखा है रे बाबा ...!!!
😝😝😝😝😝😝😜😜😂😂😂😂
barbad kar deti hai sharab har pine wale ko ..
सुना था बर्बाद कर देती है 'शराब' हर पीने वाले को.....
पहली बार बेचने वाला 'दिवालिया' हुआ है ........
( माल्या )
शेरों की तरह जीते थे जब तक कमाते नहीं थे....
जब कमाना शुरु किया जिंदगी शेरु🐕 की तरह हो गई...😁
Main General hu sirf dekhta rah jata hu
!! अर्ज़ किया है !!
वो रोज़ किसी वेकेन्सी की तरह निकलती है ...
मैं जनरल हु सिर्फ देखता रह जाता हु ..... !!
when girls meet....
जब दो लडकि आपस में मिलती हैं तो...
एक selfi ले लेती हैं..
जब दो लड़के आपस में मिलते हैं तो...
एक अद्धी ले लेते है..! 🍻
😜😋
mummy dady ghar par nahi hai ...
Girl-mummy dady ghr par nahi hai baby tum ghr par aa jao na 😘😘😘
Boy-rehne de tu pichhli bar bhi tune ese hi bulakar laptop format karwaya tha 😂😂😂😄😄😝😝😜😜
aap ka dil kitna kurkara hai ...
“लड़की ने प्यार से लडके के सीने पर अपना सर रखा और बोली :
आपका दिल कितना कुरकुरा है।
लडका ठेठ बनारसी था बोला...
अनीता ई दिल -नाही हौ
हमरे शर्टवा की जेबवा में गुटका क पुड़िया हौ,
उहे खरखरात हौ।
खइबू का ????
😀😀
Husband wife jokes
Kid1: chadarmod
Kid2: tu chadarmod
Wife: Kuch kahenge inhe aap?
Husband: ***archod hota hai chutiyo.. Kab bade hogay
.
.
.
.
Wife: They were folding the bedsheet you idiot .....
janab hum Bharat me nahi khelenge ...
अफरीदी:- जनाब हम भारत में नहीं खेलेंगे हमारी सुरक्षा को खतरा है।
नवाज शरीफ:- जैसा तुम लोग खेल रहे हो पाकिस्तान में तुम्हे ज्यादा खतरा है।😜😜😜
vijay mal le gaya ..
हिन्दी टीचर ----- विजय माल्या का सन्धि विछेद करो।।।।।
बालक------ विजय + माल+ले+गया ।
बन गया विजय माल्या।।।।
टीचर----- शाबाश ।।।।
😜😜😜😜😜😜😜
aachhe din aane wale hai ...
एक तबेला पूर्ण गधौं से भरा हुआ था .
उनमे सिर्फ 1 घोड़ा था,
घोड़े को ढूँढने की शर्त लगी
प्रथम ओबामा जाते हैं
एक घंटे तक प्रयत्न करने पर भी ओबामा घोडा ढूंढ नहीं पाये
उसके बाद पुतिन गए.
पुतिन भी बाहर आ गए, लेकिन घोडा ढूंढ नहीँ पाये,
अब बारी आई मोदीजी की
,,
मोदीजी 1 मिनट में घोड़ा ढूंढ लाये
ओबामा व पुतिन आश्चर्यचकीत हो कर पूछने लगे,
आपने कैसे घोड़े को ढून्ढ लिया?
मोदीजी बोले :
अंदर जाकर इतना कह दिया कि "अच्छे दिन" आनेवाले हैं,"
सब गधें नाचने लगे,
मैं घोड़ा लेकर बाहर आया..."
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
na wafa ka jigar hoga ... na wafa ki bat hogi ...ab mohabatt..
भाई का इन्तजार
तो 11 गांव की छोरियां कर रही है
मगर
भाई का आना
मुश्किल ही नहीं
नामुमकिन है ..
क्योंकि? ????
.
.
.
.
भाई तो खेत में थ्रेसर मशीन चला रहा है
न वफा का जिकर होगा
न वफा की बात होगी
अब मोहब्बत जिससे भी होगी गेंहू काटने के बाद होगी...😂😂😂😂
A Best poem "jane kyo ab sharm se chehre ghulabi nahi hote ...."
एक अच्छी कविता,जो मनन योग्य है।
"जाने क्यूं
अब शर्म से,
चेहरे गुलाब नही होते।
जाने क्यूं
अब मस्त मौला मिजाज नही होते।
पहले बता दिया करते थे, दिल की बातें।
जाने क्यूं
अब चेहरे,
खुली किताब नही होते।
सुना है
बिन कहे
दिल की बात
समझ लेते थे।
गले लगते ही
दोस्त हालात
समझ लेते थे।
तब ना फेस बुक
ना स्मार्ट मोबाइल था
ना फेसबुक
ना ट्विटर अकाउंट था
एक चिट्टी से ही
दिलों के जज्बात
समझ लेते थे।
सोचता हूं
हम कहां से कहां आ गये,
प्रेक्टीकली सोचते सोचते
भावनाओं को खा गये।
अब भाई भाई से
समस्या का समाधान
कहां पूछता है
अब बेटा बाप से
उलझनों का निदान
कहां पूछता है
बेटी नही पूछती
मां से गृहस्थी के सलीके
अब कौन गुरु के
चरणों में बैठकर
ज्ञान की परिभाषा सीखे।
परियों की बातें
अब किसे भाती है
अपनो की याद
अब किसे रुलाती है
अब कौन
गरीब को सखा बताता है
अब कहां
कृष्ण सुदामा को गले लगाता है
जिन्दगी मे
हम प्रेक्टिकल हो गये है
मशीन बन गये है सब
इंसान जाने कहां खो गये है!
इंसान जाने कहां खो गये है....!🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Men will be men ...
A guy was baptized and dipped in water 3 times.
After the third dip,
the Priest said: "You are now baptized, you are a new creation. The old one is gone, no more drinking of alcohol for you. Your new name is Gomes."
Gomes went back home and headed straight for the fridge. He took a Kingfisher Beer, dipped it in water 3 times and
said: "You are now a new creation, the old one is gone. Your new name is Green Tea!!!!!!" 😂😆😂😆😂😆😂😆😂😆
Men will be men ...
Chak de India feeling.....
When ever I find a female driver in front of me,
I do not know why I get Chak de India feeling....
Isne left ka indicator diya hai...
yeh left mudegi...
par nahin iska face toh right ki taraf hai....
yeh right mudegi....par isney toh beech rastey main lipstick nikali hai....
yah Khuda yeh toh break maregi!!!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
पंचतत्व में विलीन होती काँग्रेस...
पंचतत्व में विलीन होती काँग्रेस...
अग्नि - 🔥 Coal
वायु - 💨 2G
जल - 💧 irrigation
पृथ्वी - 🌎 Adarsh
आकाश - 🚁 Augusta
ॐ शान्ति...
छात्र: मैं दलित हूं।
प्रोफेसर:- तुम यहां काॅलेज कैंपस...
में इस तरह दारु नहीं...
पी सकते...
:
:
:
छात्र:- मैं दलित हूं।
:
प्रोफेसर:- माफ कीजिएगा सर..
नमकीन भी भिजवाऊं..
क्या?
.😂💦😂.
While driving on the road....Why dont you use turn indicators...
While driving on the road..
Husband - "Why dont you use turn indicators...!!??" 😏
Wife - What do you mean use turn indicators... Where I am going is none of anybody's business...!!!
Husband -😐😷😐😷😐😷😐😷😐😷😐😷
Saturday 23 April 2016
Toh zinda ho tum!
Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho.
Toh zinda ho tum!
Nazar mein khwaabon ki bijliyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!
Hawa ke jhonkon ke jaise aazad rehna seekho
Tum ek dariya ke jaise, leharon mein behna seekho
Har ek lamhe se tum milo khole apni baahein
Har ek pal ek naya samaa dekhiye
Jo apni aankhon mein hairaniyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!
Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!
Live your life to ur fullest buddies 😍😍😘
nowadays girls selfie
सेल्फी का इतना फॅड चढा है
की
आजकल की लड़कीया अगर सुहाग रात को सेक्स करने जाये...
तो पहले फोटो खींचकर स्टेटस अपडेट करेंगी:
Fucking @ सुहाग रात...
Feeling # घचाघच !
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂
A Beautiful True Love Story
One day, a young guy and a young girl fell in love.
But the guy came from a poor family. The girl’s parents weren’t too happy.
So the young man decided not only to court the girl but to court her parents as well. In time, the parents saw that he was a good man and was worthy of their daughter’s hand.
But there was another problem: The man was a soldier. Soon, war broke out and he was being sent overseas for a year. The week before he left, the man knelt on his knee and asked his lady love, “Will you marry me?” She wiped a tear, said yes, and they were engaged. They agreed that when he got back in one year, they would get married.
But tragedy struck. A few days after he left, the girl had a major vehicular accident. It was a head-on collision.
When she woke up in the hospital, she saw her father and mother crying. Immediately, she knew there was something wrong.
She later found out that she suffered brain injury. The part of her brain that controlled her face muscles was damaged. Her once lovely face was now disfigured. She cried as she saw herself in the mirror. “Yesterday, I was beautiful. Today, I’m a monster.” Her body was also covered with so many ugly wounds.
Right there and then, she decided to release her fiance from their promise. She knew he wouldn’t want her anymore. She would forget about him and never see him again.
For one year, the soldier wrote many letters—but she wouldn’t answer. He phoned her many times but she wouldn’t return her calls.
But after one year, the mother walked into her room and announced, “He’s back from the war.”
The girl shouted, “No! Please don’t tell him about me. Don’t tell him I’m here!”
The mother said, “He’s getting married,” and handed her a wedding invitation.
The girl’s heart sank. She knew she still loved him—but she had to forget him now.
With great sadness, she opened the wedding invitation.
And then she saw her name on it!
Confused, she asked, “What is this?”
That was when the young man entered her room with a bouquet of flowers. He knelt beside her and asked, “Will you marry me?”
The girl covered her face with her hands and said, “I’m ugly!”
The man said, “Without your permission, your mother sent me your photos. When I saw your photos, I realized that nothing has changed. You’re still the person I fell in love. You’re still as beautiful as ever. Because I love you!”
There was once this guy who is very much in love with his girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl.
Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his future didn’t seem too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them, so they went their own ways there and then…
Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself.
Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company …
You never fail until you stop trying. One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn’t take him long to realize they were his girl’s parents.
With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn’t the same any more; he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He made it! What he saw next confused him, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and so he got out of his car and followed…and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone and he saw his paper cranes right beside her…
Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was ill with cancer. She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want to be his obstacle… therefore she had chosen to leave him. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again…he can take some of those back with him…
Once you have loved, you will always love. For what’s in your mind may escape but what’s in your heart will remain forever.
The guy just wept…The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside her knowing you can’t have her, see her or be with her ever again…
But the guy came from a poor family. The girl’s parents weren’t too happy.
So the young man decided not only to court the girl but to court her parents as well. In time, the parents saw that he was a good man and was worthy of their daughter’s hand.
But there was another problem: The man was a soldier. Soon, war broke out and he was being sent overseas for a year. The week before he left, the man knelt on his knee and asked his lady love, “Will you marry me?” She wiped a tear, said yes, and they were engaged. They agreed that when he got back in one year, they would get married.
But tragedy struck. A few days after he left, the girl had a major vehicular accident. It was a head-on collision.
When she woke up in the hospital, she saw her father and mother crying. Immediately, she knew there was something wrong.
She later found out that she suffered brain injury. The part of her brain that controlled her face muscles was damaged. Her once lovely face was now disfigured. She cried as she saw herself in the mirror. “Yesterday, I was beautiful. Today, I’m a monster.” Her body was also covered with so many ugly wounds.
Right there and then, she decided to release her fiance from their promise. She knew he wouldn’t want her anymore. She would forget about him and never see him again.
For one year, the soldier wrote many letters—but she wouldn’t answer. He phoned her many times but she wouldn’t return her calls.
But after one year, the mother walked into her room and announced, “He’s back from the war.”
The girl shouted, “No! Please don’t tell him about me. Don’t tell him I’m here!”
The mother said, “He’s getting married,” and handed her a wedding invitation.
The girl’s heart sank. She knew she still loved him—but she had to forget him now.
With great sadness, she opened the wedding invitation.
And then she saw her name on it!
Confused, she asked, “What is this?”
That was when the young man entered her room with a bouquet of flowers. He knelt beside her and asked, “Will you marry me?”
The girl covered her face with her hands and said, “I’m ugly!”
The man said, “Without your permission, your mother sent me your photos. When I saw your photos, I realized that nothing has changed. You’re still the person I fell in love. You’re still as beautiful as ever. Because I love you!”
There was once this guy who is very much in love with his girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl.
Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his future didn’t seem too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them, so they went their own ways there and then…
Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself.
Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company …
You never fail until you stop trying. One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn’t take him long to realize they were his girl’s parents.
With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn’t the same any more; he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He made it! What he saw next confused him, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and so he got out of his car and followed…and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone and he saw his paper cranes right beside her…
Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was ill with cancer. She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want to be his obstacle… therefore she had chosen to leave him. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again…he can take some of those back with him…
Once you have loved, you will always love. For what’s in your mind may escape but what’s in your heart will remain forever.
The guy just wept…The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside her knowing you can’t have her, see her or be with her ever again…
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